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mood |
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 nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Silverchair:Across the Night |
] |
A bit o' twins and a smidgeon of Billy/Joel.
Joel can hear Billy?s feet against the pavement and his heavy breath as he runs to catch up with him. Joel continues to walk, calmly lighting up a cigarette. He takes his first drag as Billy catches up to him. The heavy pants at his side tell him to stop and wait for Billy, so he does, fiddling with his monogrammed lighter. Doubled up beside him Billy stands, sucking in air.
Eventually, Billy seems able to move, so Joel starts walking and sucking on his cigarette. Billy keeps Joel?s pace easily, long legs sliding along the concrete of the New York sidewalk. Long minutes are spent walking aimlessly, Joel trying to increase the amount of tar in his lungs and Billy just?existing.
Finally they stop, Joel pulling out a new cigarette, lighting it off his existing one, and stubbing out the old one.
?So,? Billy starts as they begin to move again. ?What happened now?? Joel sighs, taking a long pull and begins to tell his story of Benji?s rage and jealousy. Joel?s not good enough for Benji sometimes, but Benji?s the only one that can have him. Benji?s a closet homosexual. Joel is not. Benji wonders about Billy and Joel and their somewhat ambiguous relationship. This causes a lot of problems. Especially for Joel, who now chain smokes because of his problems.
Somehow they end up back at the hotel, Joel having smoked half a pack and lighting a new one. Billy casts a glance inside the lobby and sees Benji coming towards them, obviously looking for Joel. Billy knows Benji hates Joel?s smoking. A thin hand yanks the cigarette away from Joel?s mouth, pulling Joel?s hand in between their bodies. Billy holds Joel?s hand, cigarette burning in between their palms.
Joel turns to Billy, shocked. ?What are you??? But then Benji opens the doors.
?Joel! Where the hell did you go?? Benji yells. Joel looks at Billy, whose head is downcast.
?For a walk?I needed to think,? Joel?s voice is soft and submissive. Benji gives the pair a suspicious look. Billy looks down at the ground, teeth clenched. He can feel the end of the cigarette pressing into the pad of his index finger, sending white-hot pain up his arm. He can?t afford to move though, if he does, Joel?ll surely get it.
?Well?? Benji is obviously trying to figure out how this could be wrong. ?Fine, but come up to my room. I have to talk to you.? Joel looks at Benji, trying to appear innocent and loveable.
?Sure, Benj,? And Benji starts to turn. But he turns back, and looks at their conjoined hands. He appears perplexed. Benji?s gaze travels up Billy?s arm to his face, still aimed at the ground.
?You okay, Bill?? Benji asks stiffly. A defensive nod is the only answer he gets. He finally shrugs and goes back into the hotel.
As soon as Billy?s sure he?s gone, he?s ripping his hand away from Joel?s, howling and dancing in pain. ?Fuck!? He roars, waving his injured hand around. Joel steps on his smoke, grabs Billy?s hand and examines it. A perfectly circular burn is seared into the middle of the tip of his left hand index finger. The scent of scorched flesh irritates Joel?s nostrils. He lets go.
?Sorry man,? Joel says, caramel eyes wide. Billy shoves his finger into his mouth, nodding in an understanding way. Cobalt eyes meet earthy ones; they connect. Billy knows Joel?s sorry. He thinks about how Benji doesn?t. He pulls his finger out of his mouth.
?It?s OK, Joel. It?s not your fault,? Billy says softly. With that, they both turn and walk into the hotel.
It?s never you?re fault
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confused
contemplative
aggravated
bored
blah
awake
amused
cold
giggly
annoyed